Intrusive thoughts — those pesky thoughts that can spiral from a simple thought into a full-blown novel — can interfere with our work life, as well as our life in all other areas, interrupting our sleep, intruding in our relationships and in enjoying our lives in the moment. We give so much power to our thoughts. Learning to let them go and not attach importance to them can be tremendously liberating. This is especially so with thoughts that are self-critical.
The first step in dealing with those intrusive thoughts is to be aware of them. Mindfulness meditation can be extremely helpful in dealing with our thoughts. Here are some basic instructions:
• Sit comfortably in a chair or on a cushion, making sure your back is straight yet relaxed, so that your breath can flow freely. If you are sitting in a chair, uncross your legs, feeling both feet on the floor. Unclench your jaw muscles, by resting the tip of your tongue directly in back of your teeth. Have your hands rest comfortably on each thigh, palms down.
• Breathe — notice your in-breath: the rise of your abdomen and chest, the feel of the cool air coming in through your nostrils. Then notice your out-breath — warm air coming out your nostrils, letting go of stress, the fall of your abdomen and chest. Notice the pause before the next in-breath.
• Continue breathing in this fashion. As thoughts arise, simply label them “thinking” and come back to the breath. If you find yourself caught in a story or discursive thinking, simply notice that, without judgment, let it go and come back to the breath.
Practice this for a few minutes each day, slowly increasing the time of each session. The key is to do this every day. It may be helpful to have an experienced meditation instructor guide you through this practice.
Another technique that I often use with my clients is called “the container”:
• Visualize a container or box with a lid or other top, something you can evoke simply.
• When thoughts arise that are getting in your way, consciously say to yourself, “I do not need these thoughts right now”, and put them in your container, and close the lid or top.
Something else you can do is to visualize your energy going from your head — where all those intrusive thoughts are buzzing around — to your feet. Put both feet firmly on the ground, feeling the floor or ground beneath you, and bring your energy to your feet. This is very grounding as well as a good way to release those pesky thoughts.
It is amazing how much time we spend in our heads, and are not present with whatever it is we are doing or feeling. This is a “curse” of being a thinking human being. With our fast paced world, we are often multi-tasking, on our iPhone, iPad and MacBook all at the same time!. Take a break from your devices.
Another very effective way to slow down those intrusive thoughts is what I call “driving meditation”. The goal of this exercise is to drive when you are driving. Here are the steps:
• When you get in your car, turn off your cellphone and all other devices, including the radio.
• Have the intention to be present with your driving.
• Notice how it feels to put the key in the ignition, then listen to the sound and feel the vibrations as you turn on the car.
• Feel the tires on the road as you drive. When your mind wanders, notice that without judgment, and come back to being present driving, feeling the tires, seeing the road and the flow of the traffic, listening to your car engine and the other cars around you.
• When you get to a stop sign, actually STOP and take a breath, noticing where you are, both inside and out, and then proceed. As my Buddhist teacher says, “Don’t do a California Roll through the stop sign!”
We all have an inner-critic — that voice inside our heads that judges and criticizes ourselves. These mindfulness techniques are so helpful in freeing ourselves from these self-negative thoughts. After meditating for a while, I actually gave that critic a name that was different from my real name, as well as a different voice than my actual voice. After a year or so of meditating, a friend asked me how it helped me. After pondering her question, I answered, “Wow! I no longer mentally beat myself up, and that’s a miracle!”