Depression

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MAGAZINE INTERVIEW WITH BETH PATTERSON: “DHARMA THERAPY FOR TRUE WELL-BEING”

I am honored to have been interviewed by Eastern Horizon, the magazine of the Young Buddhist Association of Malaysia (YBAM) (https://ybam.org.my/en/eastern-horizon/e-magazine/) about the inspiration and insights Buddhism brings to my personal life and work as a psychotherapist and grief counselor. I am grateful to YBAM for giving me permission to share this article.

 

Beth Patterson is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Grief Counselor in Oregon, USA. She is also a Clinical Supervisor for crisis workers at CAHOOTS – Crisis Assistance Helping Out on the Streets — a mobile crisis intervention program that provides support for the police departments in Eugene and Springfield, Oregon, providing initial contact and crisis counseling for people who are dealing with homelessness, substance abuse or illness.

Beth’s professional practice is informed by her longtime Buddhist practice and deep belief that we all have the inherent wisdom to use our losses and other life challenges and transitions to grow and heal. As a former attorney and executive in the music industry, Beth also counsels musicians and others in the arts.

She explains to Benny Liow what brought her to Buddhism, the inspiration she had from her Tibetan Buddhist teacher Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche, and what is true happiness and well-being, especially the usual material happiness we are familiar with and the kind of happiness taught by the Buddha. She also shared suggestions from her e-book Love without Limit: Reflections of a Buddhist Psychotherapist on how to deal with depression, anxiety, grief and trauma, and in navigating life’s challenges with mindfulness, love and compassion.

Benny: You have been a successful entertainment lawyer and now a counselor and psychotherapist, as well as a Buddhist teacher. What inspired you in Buddhism initially and until now?

Beth: I grew up in the Jewish tradition, which, like Christianity, is a monotheistic religion. I remember questioning at a young age the idea that there was a being more powerful than me, to whom I needed to hand over my power to achieve happiness. From that time on, I believe that we have the inherent power in ourselves to grow and heal. I discovered Buddhism in college, and its tenets validated my beliefs.

I began studying and practicing in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition in the late 1980s, and took refuge with Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche in New York City in the early 1990s, and later became his student. I have served in Ponlop Rinpoche’s international organization, Nalandabodhi International, out of my devotion to Rinpoche and the Three Jewels – the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha.

I am grateful every day for the support of the Three Jewels: The Buddha as an inspiration that enlightenment is available to all of us, and a reminder of all beings’ inherent Buddha Nature; the Dharma that teaches us how to live well, navigate life’s challenges and be of benefit to all beings; and the Sangha as a supportive community of fellow travelers on the Buddhist path.

The Buddha advised us to reflect daily on birth, old age, sickness and death. How can this lead to happiness and well-being – won’t we become negative towards the beauty of life?

To me, it is just the opposite: Knowing that everything ends, moment by moment, inspires me to appreciate the beauty of life. For example, it is now Autumn where I live in the Pacific Northwest. It is such a poignant time of year. The brilliant leaves and the crisp, clear air remind me that those brilliant leaves will soon fall and the clear crisp air will turn to a season of cold and rain. Actually, change is the good news! If things didn’t change, we’d be stuck in a rut, and there would be no opportunity to transform our lives.

Reflecting on birth, old age, sickness and death connects us to The Four Noble Truths, Buddha’s first teaching after he attained enlightenment under the Bodhi tree in India. As a young, sheltered and wealthy young man, Prince Siddhartha had no understanding of the truth of suffering that comes with birth, old age, sickness and death, let alone their inevitability. was only when he left the palace and went on his journey to find the Truth that he was able to get in touch with the suffering of all beings, including his own. Without the knowledge and experience of suffering, enlightenment is not possible.

Each life transition, and the inevitable changes in life, is also a grief process. Even positive changes can come with a sense of grief – we are letting go of something to attain something more beneficial. For example, when I work with people with addictions, I work with it them with my lens as a grief counselor. People with addictions need to say goodbye to the habits, friends and lifestyle they have had in order to have a healthier one.

As a grief counselor, I have come to realize that allowing ourselves to deeply feel our grief opens us to its universality. Grief counselors are fond of working with grief models, like the five stages of grief espoused by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. I have come up with my own model of working through grief: We start out asking “Why me?”, then “Why not me?” and then “Yes, everyone.”

Through allowing ourselves to fully experience our grief and express our suffering regarding birth, old age, sickness and death, we can see that there is a way out of that suffering, through working with it as a fact of life, and finding a meaningful way to grow, transforming hopelessness into hope and possibility. Through experiencing our own unique grief, we can tap into its universality, lessening our hopelessness and isolation, and deepening our connection with others and the human condition.

I reflect on impermanence – birth, old age, sickness and death — daily, reminding myself that what is born will die – moment by moment. Contemplating impermanence gives me the impetus to live my life as well as possible, with kindness toward myself and all beings, so that those moments will be good ones.

In your e-book Love without Limit: Reflections of a Buddhist Psychotherapist, you mentioned that happiness is already within each of us, just waiting to be discovered. What is this happiness that the Buddha is referring to, and how is it different or similar to our usual understanding of happiness?

This questions brings to mind a classic American country song, “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places.” Humans tend to look for happiness by collecting more possessions, seeking praise and love from others and attaining wealth, thinking these external things will bring us true happiness. However, the “happiness” we get from these external things is fleeting at best. True happiness comes from the only thing that lasts, that is, our heart of kindness, our Buddha Nature.

The Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh has said “The present moment is full of joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” Each moment is perfect just as it is. The problem is that we often live in the past, dwelling on regrets, or in the future, full of hope and fear. Each moment is perfect, just as it is, and the only way we can experience happiness is in the present moment.

Therapy is not just about talking about the past, as many incorrectly assume. Rather, the psychotherapist’s goal is to work with the client in the here and now, while both therapist and client observe how past experiences inform the present moment. Psychotherapy works best when the past is re-experienced in
the present, in a safe and non- judgmental space. It is not about just talking about the past, but feeling the accompanying body sensations and emotions as fully as possible, and experiencing the energy and dynamics of the relationship between the therapist and client.

As the client-therapist relationship grows, and the client is able to trust the therapist to maintain
a safe environment, the client can re-experience the past more fully, and can then learn from and heal past wounds and transform the present. Many of my clients who have experienced trauma feel so unsafe that experiencing life moment to moment seems impossible for them. They hide behind the stories they have told themselves that they are not worthy of love, or that the traumas they have endured are their fault. As we work to disarm those negative self-beliefs, the client is more able to experience each present moment more fully, heightening their ability to experience true happiness.

In your book, you also mentioned helpful suggestions for dealing with depression, anxiety, grief and trauma, and for navigating life’s challenges with mindfulness, love and compassion. If mindfulness is objective non-judgement, how does one then cultivate love and compassion which tends to be more emotional and subjective?

The love and compassion that mindfulness and Buddhism talk about is limitless and boundless. It is not limited to a choice few, but to all beings. Reciting The Four Immeasurables, the four boundless positive qualities of equanimity (upekkhā), lovingkindness (mettā), compassion (karuṇā), and sympathetic joy (muditā), helps us cultivate non-judgmental, limitless compassion. Equanimity is the foundation for seeing each moment freshly, with non-judgment. This accords with Jon Kabat- Zinn’s definition of mindfulness as “awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non- judgmentally, in the service of self- understanding and wisdom.” With equanimity as the foundation, our emotional and subjective clinging is dissolved, and the boundless states of lovingkindness, compassion and sympathetic joy can flourish, becoming available to ourselves and all beings with exception.

Furthermore, many clients with depression have tunnel vision, just thinking about their own troubles, and that no one suffers like they do. As we begin to let go of our ego- clinging, that tunnel vision opens into a more panoramic view. We then understand that all of us suffer, and can develop lovingkindness and compassion for ourselves and all beings.

In one of your writings, you mentioned that you applied the Four Noble truths, a core Buddhist teaching, to overcome suffering when you had chronic pain. Isn’t the teachings of the Buddha meant more for overcoming mental suffering rather than physical suffering? Can you share your experience with us?

There is a well-worn adage “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” My chronic pain has offered a valuable opportunity to work to separate my mental suffering from the direct physical sensations of pain. In other words, honing in on the physical sensations, such as burning or throbbing in the location of my pain becomes the object of my meditation. Mental suffering arises when I stray from the direct experience of those feelings into my thoughts about the pain, whether self-pity, fear or myriad other negative thoughts. The Buddha calls this “shooting ourselves with the second arrow.” The first arrow is the pain, which is inevitable, and the second arrow is all the associated negative thoughts, which are optional. Being able to separate my pain from suffering has brought me great relief.

When I bemoan the perceived injustice of having a chronic pain condition, I am shooting myself with a second arrow. My mindfulness practice allows me to notice my thoughts and judgments as they arise, let them go and return to the object of my meditation. When I am experiencing pain, I allow that to be the object of my meditation. As thoughts and judgments arise, I notice them lightly and return to the direct experience of pain. When I work with my pain directly in this way, I am fully in the present moment. My thoughts, judgments and resistance are gone, and so is the suffering that I have added to the pain with those thoughts, judgments and resistance. In that present moment, I am liberated from my suffering.

Many times, our mental suffering arise because of too much self- criticism. How do we balance too much of self-criticism and self-praise so that we can adopt a more equanimous mind state?

The Buddhist path is all about the “middle way.” When Shakyamuni Buddha was asked how to meditate, he responded “not too tight, not too loose, analogizing the experience to tuning a lute – If the strings are too loose, the lute won’t play, and if they are too tight, they will break. The same can be applied to working with self-criticism and self-praise. When we find ourselves in a state of self-criticism, we can go to the opposite extreme of self-praise. The key is to find a middle way, where we are kind to ourselves without going overboard in the other direction to self-praise. That middle way opens us to a sense of spaciousness and gentleness, and as you say, a calm and equanimous state of mind.

The key to creating a more calm and equanimous state of mind is to remember that there is no “I”, and to not take things personally. We suffer when we believe in a solid sense of “I.” This is the fundamental tenet of the first of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism. Developing an understanding of this First Noble Truth is the key to the experience of freedom and ease. Not taking things personally may take practice, patience and mindfulness in order to let go of our need to be right or defend our position. The result is
a more kind and compassionate relationship, both with ourselves and with others.

It is common for us to think that the “grass is always greener the other side.” How do we navigate between being contented with what we have, and a couldn’t care less attitude of not even wanting to improve or try to be better?

The most common complaint Ihear from depressed clients in my psychotherapy practice can be summed up in two words: “Not enough.” A common plight of human beings is dissatisfaction, and may be expressed as “I’m not good enough”; “My partner isn’t good enough”; “My job isn’t good enough” … and the list goes on and on.

From a Buddhist perspective, the poverty mentality of “not enough” is depicted as a hungry ghost, a being with a tiny mouth, skinny neck, arms and legs, and an enormous stomach. Because the hungry ghost’s mouth and neck are so small, not enough food ever reaches its huge stomach. The hungry ghost is always hungry. Because its arms and legs are so skinny, the hungry ghost is unable to hold on to anything. Nothing can satisfy the hungry ghost.

We are rarely satisfied with who we are and what we have accomplished. As a result, humans are in perpetual motion, seeking fulfillment and satisfaction outside of ourselves, but never finding it until we realize that we are whole and complete as we are. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to achieve goals that bring us satisfaction and, more importantly, bring benefit to others. For myself, that entailed a major shift, first leaving a high paying job as a corporate entertainment lawyer to work with musicians, often for free, and then changing careers entirely, becoming a Buddhist psychotherapist in my early 50s. I get the most satisfaction from sharing the wisdom I have gained through my life experiences – including the many mistakes I have made along the way.

As a practicing Buddhist and a psychotherapist what would you say is the most important attitude we should cultivate if we wish for well-being and happiness in life? An attitude of gratitude and appreciation for all is the most important attitude for cultivating well-being and happiness. I often suggest that clients write down every day five things they are grateful for that happened that day. Some find this difficult because
of what I call the “yeah buts” – a common refrain from depressed clients. They may say something to the effect of “yeah but, I don’t feel grateful about anything.” I counter with “What about the fact that the sun is shining? Did you hear the beautiful song of that bird outside our window?” It takes practice to observe and take time to appreciate the small joys of life. I believe this is the key to cultivating well-being and happiness in life.

Having a sense of humor also helps us cultivate well-being and happiness. A sense of humor helps us not take things – especially ourselves – so seriously. For example, competitiveness is a habitual tendency (klesha in Sanskrit) of mine. When I see it rear its head, I’m able to step back and laugh at it, saying to myself “oh, hello, klesha. Thanks for showing up, but I don’t need you to stick around.” It really helps! A sense of humor can get us out of our ego-driven tunnel vision and self- centeredness. It helps us see things from a bigger, more panoramic perspective, making problems that seem insurmountable more workable. EH

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WAITING FOR A HURRICANE: ANTICIPATORY TRAUMA IS REAL

As I wait for Hurricane Dorian’s arrival and observe the “cone of uncertainty” about where it will land, I’ve been wondering if there’s such a thing as “anticipatory trauma.” So, when the going gets tough I go googling.  My research shows that anticipatory trauma is indeed real.

“One writer has said[i]some people are already experiencing the fallout [of the impact of climate change] – in the form of what’s being called pre-traumatic stress reactions.”

Coincidentally (or not), while writing this article, I  received a link to a Ted Talk by science writer Britt Wray, on how climate change affects our mental health: https://www.ted.com/talks/britt_wray_how_climate_change_affects_your_mental_health

Wray notes that that “we …need our actions and policies [regarding climate change] to reflect an understanding of how our changing environments threaten our mental, social and spiritual well-being.”  Wray says some of the psychological effects of climate change include anxiety, grief, depression, increased PTSD and existential distress.  She also includes pre-traumatic stress in the list.

As a trauma therapist, I have come to understand that the brain acts like a binary computer.  It links different experiences together as if they were the same and creates what I call “knots of association.”  For example, my brain has now linked Hurricane Dorian with Hurricane Irma and all the memories I have of that powerful storm two years ago.

I remind myself that  “This is not that”  as I untie those knots of association. In fact, in remembering that this is not that, I recall positive memories of my volunteer work in a hurricane shelter with those left homeless by Irma’s destruction.  I remember their remarkable resilience, optimism and strength. I learned that their resilience came from caring for each other, rather than isolating themselves in despondency and despair. (See my blog article “Resilience in a Hurricane Shelter” for more of what I learned:  https://bethspatterson.com/resilience/).

I have offered my “mantra” that this is not that to others experiencing anticipatory trauma.  Here are some other tips that may help as we grapple with hurricanes and other environmental disasters:

  • Practice self-compassion. It doesn’t help to judge yourself for your reactions.
  • Focus your attention on your body instead of your thoughts. For example:
    • Inhale deeply through your nose, from your diaphragm to your collar bone. Then exhale slowly through your mouth.  Imagine cool, nourishing air coming in through your nose as you inhale, and warm, stale air leaving as you exhale.
    • Place one hand on your heart center and the other on your solar plexus, Notice the rise and fall of your torso, as you feel the connection between these two chakras or energy centers.
    • When disturbing thoughts and images arise, simply notice them and return your attention to your breath and body.
  • Become an activist to bring attention to climate change or other issues that may have a negative impact on your wellbeing.
  • Volunteer your time to help those impacted by natural disasters.
  • Journal about your feelings. This helps get those swirling thoughts out of your head and so they become more workable.

Most importantly, avoid any tendency to isolate yourself.   You are not alone in feeling distress and anxiety about the “cone of uncertainty” as we await Hurricane Dorian’s arrival.

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[i]S. Colino, “Fearing the Future: Pre-Traumatic Stress Reactions,”  US News, May 24. 2017.

 

© 2019 Beth S. Patterson.  All rights reserved.

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DIGITAL DISTRACTION:  HOW WE USE OUR DEVICES TO AVOID DIFFICULT EMOTIONS

Digital distraction is everywhere these days.  I have started paying attention to how I also use my devices to avoid difficult emotions. Checking my emails and surfing the internet consume more hours in my day than I’d like to admit. So, I have started looking more mindfully at my digital device habits.

How We Use Our Devices to Avoid Difficult Emotions

I have noticed that when watching the horrific news of the day, I often pick up my tablet to play a game of Solitaire.   With this mindful view, I now understand that I often play Solitaire to avoid feeling anxious and worried.

Similarly, when I’m taking public transportation, I tend to fritter away my time on my cellphone. As a result, I miss human interactions and the beautiful scenery around me.  I see how digital distraction distances us from others, and from our environment.

I have been weighing whether my digital device use truly connects me to others. Many close friends and family members prefer to “talk” via text, rather than by phone or in person. I have picked up this habit as well. I believe that much of the divisiveness, violence, confusion and lack of empathy in today’s world can be attributed to an over-reliance on social media for connection.

Digital Distraction As a Defense Against Being Hurt

Many of the clients in my therapy practice admit that they surf the internet to avoid difficult emotions, such as anger, fear or anxiety.  For example, “Donna” has a history of complex trauma, primarily due to her mother’s emotional abuse.  As a result,  Donna has used distraction as a coping mechanism throughout her life to avoid painful emotions.

Donna told me that she has long been “disconnected from life” to avoid anxiety and fear. She worries that if she connects with those in her life, they will disappoint and hurt her, like her mother did. Likewise, Donna avoids connecting with herself because when she does she is filled with negative self-judgments.

Due to her anxiety and fears, Donna often stays up until 2am or later, surfing the internet and playing computer games.  She understands that this habit allows her to avoid her fears and other difficult emotions.

How The Emotional Rescue 3-Step Plan Can Help Create Healthy Relationships with Our Devices…And With Others

Donna and I have been working with the book Emotional Rescue:  How to Work with Your Emotions to Transform Hurt and Confusion into Energy that Empowers Youby Dzogchen Ponlop[i].  We recently applied Ponlop Rinpoche’s Emotional Rescue 3-Step Plan to Donna’s digital distraction as a way to avoid feeling her emotions at bedtime.  As a result, Donna is beginning to let go of her digital device urge, and instead, has begun reading or knitting to help her relax into sleep.

I offer the Emotional Rescue 3-Step Plan here to help you create a mindful and healthy relationship with your devices and understand the triggers that make you turn to them to avoid difficult emotions.

The first step of the Emotional Rescue 3-Step Plan is Mindful Gap.   When you feel the urge to distract yourself with your devices, simply stop, take a breath and notice the urge without taking action. Breathe and feel what’s going on in your body without judgment.

From this internal focus, expand your awareness to your environment.  This is Clear Seeing,  the second step of the Emotional Rescue Plan.  Take a look and see what your body is telling you when you have the urge to digitally distract yourself.  For example, do you feel a fluttering in your chest or tightening in your stomach when you feel anxious? Do you start fidgeting when you’re bored? Is there a pattern to mindlessly picking up a device when you feel certain emotions?

The third step of the Emotional Rescue 3-Step Plan is Letting Go.  Allow your body to relax. Breathe in compassion for yourself, and breathe out compassion for all others who feel the need to digitally distract themselves to avoid difficult emotions.

Letting go gives you the chance to choose whether or not to pick up a device at that moment.  My aspiration is to choose connection and aliveness over distraction and numbness.

 

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[i]Dzogchen Ponlop (2016). Emotional Rescue:  How to Work with Your Emotions to Transform Hurt and Confusion into Energy that Empowers You.  New York: Tarchin/Perigree.

(c) 2019 Beth S. Patterson.  All rights reserved.

 

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PRACTICING COMPASSION AND EQUANIMITY IN THE AGE OF TRUMP

Practicing compassion and equanimity with difficult people in our lives can be challenging.  However doing so greatly increases our capacity to care for all beings, including ourselves.  It also helps release us from getting caught up in negative emotions.

The Tibetan Buddhist practice of tonglen,  translated as  “sending and receiving,” is a powerful compassion practice. In practicing tonglen, we take in others’ suffering, and send them healing and compassion.  Each time you breathe in, you take in others’ pain and suffering. You take it into your heart, where it is transmuted, transformed into compassion. Then you breathe out, and send them healing and love.

Tonglen is practiced in stages:  first for ourselves, then for a loved one, then for a neutral person, then for someone we dislike, and finally for all sentient beings everywhere.  Tonglen can be done as a formal sitting practice or “on the spot”.[b]  For example, I practice tonglen on the spot when I pass a homeless person, instead of looking away.  I breathe in the suffering of that person, and send him or her healing with my out-breath.

Tonglen became a mainstay of my healing from the trauma of witnessing firsthand the horrors of 9/11. It was fairly easy for me to practice compassion for myself, those who died and their loved ones, and all others who witnessed the planes crash, whether in person or on the news. What truly healed me was practicing tonglen and developing compassion for the young hijackers who flew the planes into the World Trade Center.  I saw them as confused young men who abandoned their lovingkindness and basic goodness in the name of religious zealotry.

The transformative power of tonglen lies in directly experiencing that we are all born with basic goodness, and that our suffering, borne of clinging to a solid sense of self, obscures our basic goodness and lovingkindness as we move through life’s challenges.

Practicing equanimity is another transformative practice. It is a powerful way to let go of negativity and an “us versus them” mentality.  Vietnamese Buddhist master Thich Nhat Han says that equanimity involves seeing everyone as equal:  “We shed all discrimination and prejudice, and remove all boundaries between ourselves and others.  In a conflict, even though we are deeply concerned, we remain impartial, able to love and to understand both sides.”[c]

I have recently been practicing compassion and equanimity for Donald Trump. Bear in mind that compassion does not mean approval. Without getting into a political discussion and simply based on my observations, I do not condone Trump’s lies, inflammatory language and divisiveness.

When I find myself getting caught in negativity listening to the news, I take a breath and step back.  I’ve made it a practice to look at Trump’s eyes and practice compassion and equanimity on the spot.  I am then able to see the fear and suffering in his eyes.  Behind his tough guy façade, I see a scared little boy.  Sometimes Trump’s eyes seem eerily empty, a reflection of a person who has been called “an existence without a soul.”[d]

Observing Trump’s pained eyes, I wonder how his soul became so damaged.  As a psychotherapist, it is tempting to diagnose him.  I prefer to try to understand, based on my understanding of trauma and attachment theory, how Trump has become the person he is today.  His mother has been described as emotionally distant and frequently absent.  His father has been described as a “tyrant.”

It is thus no surprise then that Trump is so sensitive to criticism.  His bluster and boastful arrogance are likely a mask to hide his deep insecurity and fear of being seen as weak or unworthy.  As Dr. Justin Frank notes:

One of the things that you do when you’re feeling ignored and abandoned in some way is develop contempt for that part of yourself. You have the hatred of your own weakness and you then become a bully and make other people feel weak, or mock other people to make it clear that you’re the strong one and that you don’t have any needs.[e]

Fear seems to be a driving force in Trump’s life. As Zen teacher Ezra Bayda says:

 “[F]ear makes our life narrow and dark.  It is at the root of all conflict, underlying much of our sorrow.  Fear also…disconnects us from the lovingkindness that is our true nature.”[f]

Understanding Donald Trump in this way helps me practice compassion and equanimity, not only for him, but for all others who have suffered because of difficult upbringings.  May they all discover the “lovingkindness that is [their] true nature.”

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[a]Please note that this article is not intended as a political statement, but rather, an essay about how to work with compassion and equanimity for all beings, including those who challenge our ability to be compassionate.  Also see my blog article “How To Be a Mindful Activist…And not lose your mind: https://bethspatterson.com/mindful-activism/

[b]Pema Chodron, (Summer 2002). “Tonglen on the Spot.” Tricycle.

[c]Thich Nhat Han (1997).  The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching.  New York: Broadway Books, p. 162.

[d]Dan McAdams (June 2016).  “The Mind of Donald Trump.” The Atlantic, quoting Mark Singer, who interviewed Trump for a profile published as “Trump Solo” in The New Yorker (May 19, 1997).

[e]David Smith.  “Mommy Dearest:  A Psychiatrist Puts Trump on the Couch.” The Guardian. (September 29, 2018).

[f]Ezra Bayda (Spring 2009). “The Three Things We Fear Most.”  Tricycle.

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HOW TO BE A MINDFUL ACTIVIST…AND NOT LOSE YOUR MIND

There has been an enormous rise in social activism in the last few years.  However, if we are not mindful activists, we may harden our hearts, isolate ourselves, and get swept away in the contagion of negativity, hatred and aggression all around us.  We may experience depression, anxiety or trauma observing the divisiveness, misfortunes and confusion in the world.  We may wonder if we can make a difference, and may experience hopelessness, helplessness or profound fear.

Current events can reawaken our feelings about prior struggles we have endured. Public allegations of sexual misconduct can trigger memories of abuse or harassment.  Racism or gender inequality can trigger memories of discrimination. These memories can become so intrusive that they interfere with our lives and relationships.

These turbulent times also provide an opportunity to open our hearts and develop compassion for ourselves and all other beings.  As the Dalai Lama has said:

“When people say that I have worked a lot for peace, I feel embarrassed. I feel like laughing. I don’t think I have done very much for world peace. It’s just that my practice is the peaceful path of kindness, love, compassion, and not harming others…. I am simply a follower of the Buddha, and the Buddha taught that patience is the supreme means for transcending suffering.”[i]

 According to the Buddhist teachings, patience is the antidote for anger and aggression, and as the Dalai Lama notes, it can help us overcome suffering.  One way to practice patience is what Dzogchen Ponlop, in his book Emotional Rescue,[ii]calls “Mindful Gap.” Taking a Mindful Gap allows us to slow down and pause Instead of reflexively acting angrily. When the first burst of anger’s energy arises, take a moment to breathe and feel the experience of anger in the body. Then, hold the experience, staying in the present moment. This allows us to look and see what the feelings are telling us.  By taking a Mindful Gap, we can choose the most beneficial course of action, whether it be speaking or acting compassionately, or refraining from doing anything at all.

Seeing the world in terms of “us versus them” increases suffering.  If we realize that we are all together in this boat called life, we can cultivate compassion for everyone – even those with whom we profoundly disagree.  In the words of Zen master and social activist Rev. angel Kyodo Williams:

When I sit with a sense of the human being there, I don’t actually feel hatred at all. I feel a kind of grief for their circumstance and for the society that allows injustice to happen. They’re just as caught up in it as every other person who allows this to be the social order. It’s hard to accept, and it’s a really, really deep practice, but I haven’t discovered anything else to be true and actually workable.[iii]

 Finding compassion for all being helps us realize that we all suffer. With this realization, we can approach others with a sense of curiosity and concern, rather than prejudice or aggression. Knowing we all suffer helps us feel less alone, and can alleviate anxiety, depression, anger or fear.

Balance and self-care are also keys for mindful activism. Activists may experience overwhelm, stress or burnout.  If we are not mindful, the stress of activism can cause changes in the brain, increasing cortisol and adrenaline and the fight or flight response.  This in turn can result in anxiety or trauma.  Becoming familiar with our early warning signs of undue stress is important to prevent it from escalating.  For example, when I become really forgetful, irritable and/or clumsy, I know it’s time to take a break and relax.

Here are some tips for being a mindful activist and not “lose your mind”:

  • Take care of your physical well-being, including healthy eating, getting enough sleep and exercise.
  • Reach out to fellow activists and friends to talk about your feelings.
  • Maintain a sense of humor.
  • Do something you enjoy every day, such as walking, listening to music, getting together with friends, reading a good book
  • Be mindful of your thoughts.Let go of negative thoughts and negative self-talk, like leaves floating down a stream.
  • Practice being in the present moment, moment by moment. For example, when you are washing the dishes, experience how your hands feel in the warm water, the sound of the water, the smell of the soap. When thoughts arise that take you away from the experience, simply come back to washing the dishes.
  • Take breaks from the news, social media and your devices. Turn off all devices at least 30 minutes before bedtime, and take that time for quiet reading, journaling or meditation.
  • Practice gratitude. Take time to appreciate the beauty of nature, others’ generosity and compassion, the song of a bird, the purr of a cat.
  • Maintain a healthy balance between alone time and time with others.
  • If you are experiencing compassion fatigue, burnout, or increased anxiety or depression that are interfering with your daily life, seek guidance from a spiritual advisor or psychotherapist. Professional support can be helpful in alleviating your personal suffering, so you can go on being of benefit to yourselves and your world.

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References:

[i]HH The Dalai, Lama (2018).  The Bodhisattva Guide:  A Commentary on the Way of the Bodhisattva (p. 140). Boston: Shambhala Publications.

[ii]Dzogchen Ponlop (2016).  Emotional Rescue:  How to Work with Your Emotions to Transform Hurt and Confusion into Energy that Empowers You.New York: Tarchin/Perigree.

[iii]Sharon Salzberg & Rev. Angel Kyodo Williams, Love Everyone:  A Guide for Spiritual Activists.  Lion’s Roar, August 18, 2017.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2018 Beth S. Patterson.  All rights reserved.

 

 

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UNCOVERING THE POWER OF VULNERABILITY: A MINDFULNESS APPROACH

Most of us think of vulnerability as weakness. However, the word vulnerability simply means able to be open. By being open, we can clearly see ourselves and that world around us.  This panoramic view gives us the ability and power to grow, heal and be fully engaged in our lives.

We often think that if we are open and vulnerable, we will be attacked.  This is something most of us learn early on in life.  We come into the world as open and vulnerable babies, unconditionally loving ourselves and the world around us.  Then life gets in the way. We feel judged, misunderstood, rejected or abandoned, and little by little that open innocence begins to close. We close a portion of our hearts. We lose our spontaneity, basic aliveness and self-expression out of fear.

The first step of opening to our basic aliveness is becoming aware of the fears and self-beliefs that close our hearts. For me, mindfulness meditation was the key for unlocking my heart.

Through slowing down in meditation, and taking the time to get to know myself, I discovered my fear of being judged as unlovable. I became acutely aware that I had closed myself from my basic aliveness out of fear.  Slowing down and breathing into my heart in meditation, I had a direct experience of what felt like ice melting around my heart.  I experienced profound sadness and grief for the loss of the open heart and vulnerability I had as a baby and young child.  Over time, I was able to let go of the fears that held me back, experience compassion for myself and allow myself to be and be loved, just as I am.

So, I offer this guided meditation to you:

  • Sit in a comfortable position, either on a meditation cushion or in a chair with your feet on the floor. Make sure you are sitting upright in a relaxed fashion so your breath can freely move.
  • Bring attention to your breath – cool nourishing breaths in, and long slow breaths out, letting go of stress and tension with each out-breath. Allow yourself to slow down.  When thoughts come up, simply notice them and return your attention to your breath.
  • As you begin to slow down and relax, bring your attention to your heart center. Bring one hand to your heart. Breathe into your heart, noticing the hand touching your heart to rise with each inhale and relax with each exhale.
  • Continuing to breathe in this way, experience the sensations around your heart. In order to become familiar with and connect with your heart, ask:  If it had a color, what color would it be?  Similarly, if it had a size, shape, texture or temperature, what would that be.
  • Now, continuing to focus your attention on your heart, notice your emotions. Fear or sadness may arise.  Breathe into the emotional experience and allow your emotions to be just as they are, without getting lost in thoughts, judgments or stories.
  • End your meditation practice with the aspiration that you grow and heal, and in your growth and healing, may you be of benefit to yourself and all others.

It is my aspiration that this practice will help you understand with compassion the fears that have closed your heart, so that you can grow, heal and open with the power of vulnerability to yourself and your life.

 

 

© 2018.  Beth S. Patterson.  All rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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“NOT ENOUGH”: A BUDDHIST PERSPECTIVE ON DEPRESSION

Many of my clients complain of depression and low self-esteem. They think that something “out there,” such as a new relationship or job, is going to make them feel better about themselves. When I tell them that what will heal their depression is self-compassion and finding satisfaction in everyday life, some look at me as if I were speaking a foreign language. The ideas of self-compassion and a sense of satisfaction are that alien to them!

The most common complaint I hear from depressed clients in my psychotherapy practice can be summed up in two words: “Not enough.” A common plight of human beings is dissatisfaction, and may be expressed as “I’m not good enough”; “My partner isn’t good enough”; “My job isn’t good enough”… and the list goes on and on.

Spiritual Perspectives

From a Buddhist perspective, the poverty mentality of “not enough” is depicted as a hungry ghost, a being with a tiny mouth, skinny neck, arms and legs, and an enormous stomach. Because the hungry ghost’s mouth and neck are so small, not enough food ever reaches its huge stomach. The hungry ghost is always hungry. Because its arms and legs are so skinny, the hungry ghost is unable to hold on to anything. Nothing can satisfy the hungry ghost.

In the Tibetan Buddhist prayer of compassion embodied by Chenrezig, the bodhisattva of compassion, human suffering is described as being a state of “constant toil and poverty.” We are rarely satisfied with who we are and what we have accomplished. As a result, humans are in perpetual motion, seeking fulfillment and satisfaction outside of ourselves, but never finding it until we realize that we are whole and complete as we are, and that external accomplishments are simply the icing on the cake.

The theme of human dissatisfaction is common to all world religions. For example, in Philippians 4:11, it is said, “I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.” Timothy 6:607 teaches that “Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we carry nothing out.”

As a Buddhist, I would describe godliness as Buddhanature, the wisdom and wholeness with which we are all born. The Buddhist teachings on Buddhanature are very helpful in developing self-compassion. Those teachings tell us that we all have Buddhanature, but due to our habitual tendencies and patterns, we have difficulty experiencing it. An image I have found helpful is that of the sun in a cloudy sky. The sun is always there, even on a cloudy day, but we cannot see it. Imagine being in a plane, and seeing the sun in a clear blue sky after rising above the clouds. Indeed, the sun was there the whole time, just like our Buddhanature.

The Practice of Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is a great way to develop a sense of “good enough” and satisfaction. I often suggest that depressed clients write down every day five things they are grateful for that happened that day. Some find this difficult because of what I call the “yeah buts” – a common refrain from depressed clients. They may say something to the effect of “yeah but, I don’t feel grateful about anything.” What about the fact that the sun is shining? Did you hear the beautiful song of that bird outside our window? It takes practice to observe and take time to appreciate the small joys of life, and get out of the tunnel vision of “not enough.”

Practicing gratitude can uncover and release the persistent negative self-beliefs that keep us stuck in dissatisfaction, for example, the belief that you don’t deserve love or happiness. Being mindful of our thoughts and appreciating the present moment are keys to healing depression and creating a sense of gratitude, satisfaction and appreciation in our lives.

 

 

 

 

© 2017 Beth S. Patterson. All rights reserved.

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THE INSIDIOUS FORCE OF MISOGYNY

 

Misogyny is an insidious and often subtle force that brings many women to therapy. The demeaning of women in the workplace, gender inequality at home, rape, sexual harassment, domestic violence, and other emotional and physical abuses against women result in symptoms ranging from depression and anxiety to PTSD.

Many of the women in my psychotherapy practice have experienced a significant increase in their symptoms due to the misogyny pervading our society since the election of Donald Trump.   Indeed, it has been widely reported that there has been a significant increase in existing, new and returning clients seeking help with post-election anxiety. As the Seattle Times recently reported (3/25/17) ,as many as 80 percent of potential new therapy clients are seeking help for post-election distress.

What makes misogyny so insidious is the unconscious acceptance — by women as well as men — of behaviors that demean women. For example, if a woman is attending a business meeting with male coworkers, she is more likely to be asked to take notes or fetch the coffee than one of her male colleagues. Even if the woman feels this is wrong, she may feel powerless to do anything but acquiesce. She may even offer these “traditionally female” services out of her own unconscious conditioning. Compounding matters, women simply are not used to saying no or being assertive with male peers.

Women who are ambitious and successful are often seen as unlikeable “bitches.” Hillary Clinton recently said, in her interview with journalist Nicholas Kristof at the Women of the World Summit, “Certainly, misogyny played a role [in my loss of the presidency]. That just has to be admitted.” In his summary of the interview, Kristof wrote:

“[Clinton] noted the abundant social science research that when men are   ambitious and successful, they may be perceived as more likable. In contrast, for women in traditionally male fields, it’s a trade-off: The more successful or ambitious a woman is, the less likable she becomes (that’s also true of how women perceive women). It’s not so much that people consciously oppose powerful women; it’s an unconscious bias.” (New York Times, 4/9/17).

The constant barrage of bad news about the mistreatment of women in our society has caused significant re-traumatization in clients with a history of sexual abuse.   Events like the surfacing of the video of Trump with Billy Bush bragging about grabbing women’s genitals and the disclosures of Trump’s history as a sexual predator are triggers for anxiety and trauma. News of the culture of sexism at Fox News and elsewhere has re-triggered women who, like Hillary Clinton, have faced painful challenges in traditionally male fields.

One of the most disturbing aspects of misogyny is its unconscious acceptance by women, as Hillary Clinton noted. In fact, when I worked as a corporate attorney and executive, women were more apt to call me a “bitch” than men were (although sexism by my male peers certainly existed).

Women’s unconscious bias also spills over into heterosexual marriages. As a broad generalization, women tend to look to their husbands as the decision makers and tend to take on traditional roles of homemaking. In addition, women are generally expected to make less money than men (which is borne out by statistics of income inequality). This expected income inequality may also lead to marital conflicts, including resentment by women who earn more than their husbands, and self-esteem issues by men whose wives are the chief breadwinners in the family. While these gender-based norms and attitudes are changing, my clients report that they still pose significant challenges in their marriages.

The good news is that the recent presidential election and upsurge of reports of misogyny and sexual harassment by men in powerful positions has raised awareness of sexual oppression. As a child of the anti-war and feminist movements of the ‘60s and ‘70s, I am optimistic that the resistance and consciousness raising that have begun will continue and will reap positive results, as it did in ending the Viet Nam War, Nixon’s resignation and more equality for women in the ‘70s. The Women’s Marches the day after the inauguration in January augured a renewed sense of solidarity and confidence that we can all make a difference.

This renewed awareness of misogyny, sexism and inequality has already reaped positive results. Male clients have reported more understanding of and sensitivity regarding the challenges their female partners and colleagues face, and are willing to be more open and vulnerable with them. Women are less willing to ignore sexist behaviors and are speaking up more and more.

In addition, the onslaught of news in the media of sexual inequality and assaults provides an opportunity for women to look at their own assumptions and prejudices regarding men. As James Gordon, a psychiatrist and founder of the Center for Mind Body Medicine, wrote in The Guardian (2/9/17), Donald Trump represents the archetypal fool or trickster, who holds a mirror up to our own foibles and failings. Gordon aptly states:

“[The fool] performs a vital social function, forcing us to examine our own preconceptions, especially our inflated ideas about our own virtue. Trump was telling all of us – women and minorities, progressives, pillars of the establishment, as well as his supporters – that we were just like him.”

Ultimately, the fool is not there to taunt us, but to teach us to look at our conscious and unconscious preconceptions and prejudices. As Gordon concludes:

“The joker who is now our president has served an important function, waking us up to what we’ve not yet admitted in ourselves or accomplished in our country. He is, without realizing it, challenging us to grow in self-awareness, to act in ways that respect and fulfill what is best in ourselves and our democracy.”

The time is ripe for awakening and the dawn of an enlightened society. Instead of shunning and demonizing the Trumps in our lives, it is time to look at them with compassion for their ignorance and self-destructive aggression and arrogance. And, it is time to look at ourselves and work to promote understanding, healing and equality for all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2017 Beth S. Patterson. All rights reserved

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OVERCOMING THE NEGATIVITY BIAS: A MINDFULNESS APPROACH

As neuropsychologist and mindfulness teacher Rick Hanson says “the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but like Teflon for positive ones.”[1] What Dr. Hanson describes is known as the “negativity bias.” The negativity bias is hardwired in the human brain. Early humans needed this brain bias for survival purposes. The negativity bias allowed our ancestors to learn behaviors that became hardwired in the brains of their descendants in order to avoid danger and stay alive. The negativity bias remains part of the human brain today, and impacts our wellbeing in many ways.

The Impact of the Negativity Bias in Daily Life

Research in neuroscience shows that the brain reacts more strongly to negative stimuli than positive ones. We hold on to negative memories much longer and more strongly than positive ones, like what Dr. Hanson describes as Velcro.  This hardwiring stimulates the brain’s fight, flight or freeze hyper-vigilant responses to perceived threats, and affects us physically, cognitively and emotionally.

On a physical level, hyper-vigilance affects our adrenal and cortisol systems, resulting in sleep disturbances, fatigue, shortness of breath and numerous other physical issues. Emotionally, we may experience anxiety, fear, confusion or anger. Cognitively, we may develop strong negative beliefs, such as “I don’t deserve love”, “I cannot trust others”, or “I am not safe.”

For example, if someone has experienced the sudden death of a loved one, she may react with great fear and anxiety each time she is unable to reach another loved one. If someone is judged or ridiculed at work for suggesting a novel approach to working with a challenge, he may be less inclined to offer suggestions again. And, if one grows up with an abusive parent, she may come to believe that she is unlovable and that no one can be trusted. These associations the brain makes are like tangled knots in a ball of thread that link new experiences with old negative experiences.

Overcoming the Negativity Bias through Mindfulness

The good news is that the negativity bias can be overcome through mindfulness, and the tangled knots of association can be loosened and untied. The first step is to become aware of the brain’s negativity bias and that the brain links different events and experiences together, like the 0’s and 1’s of a binary computer. This awareness helps us then determine if something we are experiencing is truly a threat to our safety or wellbeing. If it is a threat, we can take appropriate action. If it is not a threat, we can learn to let go of the impact of a perceived negative experience, seeing it for what it is.

Mindfulness can actually rewire the brain to hold on to positive experiences in a productive and healthy way – more like Velcro than Teflon. The practice of mindfulness meditation teaches us to be present, moment-to-moment, and not just live in our thoughts. The irony is that through mindfulness meditation, we become more aware of our thoughts. The difference is that we no longer need to get carried away by our thoughts, and expand a single thought into an epic novel. We learn to let thoughts go and return to the experience of the present moment.

Being mindful also makes us more aware of the negative and self-limiting thoughts that have kept us from being fully and joyfully alive. Mindfulness is not limited to sitting on a cushion and watching our breath. In fact, in addition to sitting meditation, I often “prescribe” mindful walking, mindful dish washing and mindful driving to my clients as ways to learn to be present with whatever it is they are experiencing. The key is to notice the thoughts and come back fully to whatever it is you are experiencing.

Without mindful awareness, our negative thoughts are the omnipresent background noise of our lives. Becoming aware of our negative self-talk and thoughts allows us to separate ourselves from them, to challenge and even eliminate them. Cognitive therapy, including mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, offers another way to do that, and works well with mindfulness practices.

The more present we are, moment-to-moment, the more we can experience the small joys of being alive.   We are more able to fully savor positive experiences and make them a part of who we are, without judgment. We come to realize that joy and presence is our birthright.

A highly effective way to rewire the brain to respond more to positive experiences is the “gratitude exercise”: Every night before you go to bed, write down five things you are grateful for that happened that day. When I assign this exercise to depressed clients, I may hear the complaint “but I have nothing to be grateful for.” I respond to this by pointing out positive things in the environment they can experience directly, such as a sunny day or a bird singing outside my office window.

The gratitude exercise and learning to be mindful in the present moment allow us to short circuit and rewire the brain’s negativity bias. We can then open our eyes and hearts to life, with all of its joys and sorrows, and fully appreciate who we are.

 

[1] R. Hanson, “Take in the Good”, www.rickhanson.net, June 2015.

 

 

© 2016 Beth S. Patterson. All rights reserved.

 

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COMPASSION: A REMEDY FOR TURBULENT TIMES

The world today is full of turbulence and uncertainty. We wake up to bad news every day. News of mass shootings, terrorist strikes, political dysfunction, natural disasters and other woes dominate the news and social media. On top of that, of course, are the personal struggles, losses and challenges of daily life. Compassion is the remedy for staying open and kind in turbulent times.

In these difficult times, it can be challenging to maintain open-heartedness and kindness toward ourselves and others. We may feel that we are being tossed by the stormy waves of chaos. We may experience anxiety or trauma hearing about all of the misfortunes and confusion in the world. These times can reawaken our feelings about prior struggles we have endured, whether personally or societally. For example, terrorist bombings can bring up our feelings after the attacks on 9/11, as if it were yesterday.

When we are experiencing inner turmoil, it can be easy to harden our hearts, isolate ourselves, and get swept away in the contagion of negativity, hatred, aggression all around us. However, these turbulent times also provide an opportunity to open our hearts and develop compassion for ourselves and all other beings. In Buddhist terminology, this is the path of the Bodhisattva, those who strive to benefit all beings. Compassion is the key that opens our hearts with kindness toward ourselves and all others.

THE THREE-STEP EMOTIONAL RESCUE PLAN

If we are not mindful, we may automatically react to hatred with more hatred. I had a chance to notice and work with this reflexive impulse recently. A transgender acquaintance told me that she was brutally attacked by two men for how she looks and dresses. I noticed that my automatic urge was to say “what idiots!” Instead I used the “Three-Step Emotional Rescue Plan” described by Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche, in his new book Emotional Rescue: How to Work with Your Emotions to Transform Hurt and Confusion into Energy That Empowers You.

Instead of immediately afflicting more hate, I took the first step of the three-step plan, “mindful gap”, and breathed in my bodily and emotional response. Stepping back in this way, I was able to take the second step, what Rinpoche calls “clear seeing”, to get a more panoramic view of the situation. In doing so, what I said instead is “those poor ignorant men, who are so frightened by people who don’t look like them.” This pacified my negativity, and allowed me to “let go” (the third step of the emotional rescue plan), with a sense of compassion for my acquaintance, for these men, and for all of us who sometimes act wrongly out of passion, aggression or ignorance.

COMPASSION FOR SELF AND OTHER

Self-compassion does not mean resignation or self-pity. Rather, it means allowing yourself time to feel your pain and difficult emotions without judgment. Notice when you are under the sway of negative self-talk, negative thoughts or intrusive memories. It is helpful to think of these negative thoughts and memories as leaves floating down the stream. Despite their seeming power, thoughts and memories are fleeting and ephemeral, and have no true substance.

The word compassion literally means “suffering with.” Self-compassion is the first necessary ingredient for extending your compassion to others, with the understanding that pain and suffering and the wish for peace are universal. You cannot really extend compassion and “suffer with” another without self-compassion.

This concept was beautifully described by the Japanese writer Haruki Murakami in his book Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and his Years of Pilgrimage:

One heart is not connected to another through harmony alone.
They are, instead, linked deeply through their wounds.
Pain linked to pain, fragility to fragility. There is no silence
without a cry of grief,… no acceptance without a passage
through acute loss. That is what lies at the root of true harmony.

I would like to offer some practical suggestions for maintaining compassion in difficult times:

• Take a break from the media. It can be tempting to watch the news all day and obsess about the woes in the world on Facebook and other social media.

• Take breaks from your devices. Staying glued to them day and night can increase stress and prevent us from being in the present moment.

• Turn off the television and all digital devices at least 30 minutes before bed. Instead, read a good book, cuddle with your pets, talk with your partner or take a warm, soothing bath or shower.

• Do something that you enjoy fully every day. Take the time to relish and appreciate those moments as they are occurring. Make the wish that all others have moments like these.

• Take time to smile and laugh. Exercising our smile muscles naturally relaxes us and creates feelings of positivity and optimism. It is said that laughter is the best medicine, and indeed it is. Moreover, a sense of humor creates perspective and more spaciousness.

• Practice self-care. It is important in stressful times to take care of your physical health. Although it may sound obvious, make sure to get plenty of rest, eat healthily, drink water and herbal tea, cut down on caffeine and alcohol.

• Create a good balance between caring for yourself and caring for others. Devoting all of our time and energy to the well-being of others without taking care of ourselves can result in what is called “compassion fatigue.”

• Maintain a healthy balance between alone time and time with others. It is important to take time for yourself, to meditate, journal, exercise, take a quiet walk or read. At the same time, be vigilant not to isolate yourself. Spending time with friends, family and your spiritual community are as important as alone time.

• If you have a spiritual practice, maintain it. This will help you open your heart to yourself and others.

• Notice the tendency to judge others. For example, when passing a homeless person on the street, notice any tendency to cast judgment. Instead, extend compassion to that person, knowing that he or she is suffering.

• One of the best and most healing ways to practice compassion is to extend it to those we see as aggressors and perpetrators. For example, as an eyewitness to the horrors of 9/11 in New York, part of my healing was to extend compassion to the nineteen terrorists who flew the planes into the World Trade Center. I remembered that they were young and confused and acted out of ignorant passion. This truly helped me heal.

• Feel gratitude. Despite all the ugliness in the world, there is much to be grateful for: friends and family, the beauty of nature, appreciation of others’ generosity and compassion, the song of a bird, the purr of a cat.

• If you are experiencing secondary trauma from witnessing or hearing about the horrors in the world, or if you are experiencing compassion fatigue or increased anxiety or depression that are interfering with your daily life, seek guidance from a spiritual advisor or psychotherapist. The world today can be overwhelming, and professional support can be helpful in alleviating your personal suffering.

References:

Dzogchen Ponlop. (2016). Emotional Rescue: How to Work with Your Emotions to Transform Hurt and Confusion Into Energy That Empowers You. New York: Tarchen/Perigee.

Haruki Murakami, (2014). Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and his Years of Pilgrimage. New York: Alfred A. Knopf.