Coping with Grief During the Holidays

The holiday season is upon us.  This time of year can be particularly difficult for those who are grieving the death of a loved one, and can revive or intensify one’s grief even after many years have passed.  Here are my top ten tips for coping with grief during the holiday season:

1.  Spend time with family and friends.

2.  Spend some “alone time” to reflect.

3.  Light a candle in your loved one’s honor.

4.  Volunteer your time to help others, with the intention that your are giving in honor of

your loved one.

5.  Tell stories about the life of your loved one.

6.  Write a letter to your loved one.

7.  Express your feelings through journaling or art.

8.  Make a donation to your loved one’s favorite charity or group.

9.  Have a party for the deceased with people who loved him or her, play his or her

favorite music and prepare his or her favorite foods.

10. Take care of yourself — buy yourself flowers, take a trip out of town, get a massage,

read a book, take a walk, and have a date with yourself.

Top Ten Communication Tips for Successful Relationships

A common reason that people see a psychotherapist or couples counselor is difficulties in communicating.  The key to good communication is being a good listener.  Here is  my top ten list for being a good listener:

1.  Stop what you are doing and be present.

2.  Allow the other person to finish his or her thought without finishing it for him or her.

3.  Avoid giving advice, unless it is specifically requested.

4. Let the other person know you have heard him or her by reflecting back what you have heard.

5.  Do not interrupt.

6.  Listen with your heart, not just your head.

7.  Listen for your triggers and take a deep breath.

8. Look directly at the person speaking.

9.  Keep your body language positive – avoid rolling your eyes, crossing your arms across your chest, etc.

10.  Slow down and breathe!